Jake Marsh was a freshman in college when he turned to someone only a few years older. His mentor, Simon, a fellow college student, made time for Marsh in what he described as the lowest points of his life. The care and effort Simon gave to him in moments of uncertainty taught Marsh far more than what his coursework offered in university.
Simon’s mentorship inspired Marsh’s calling as a Next-Gen pastor at Vintage Church Los Angeles. His experience with Simon taught him that the people around him care enough to stay past something superficial. Marsh recalls that Simon wanted to spend time with him, which impacted his view of mentorship.
Mentorship is often the norm in Churches, where pastors attend to their congregation. But it seems as though students here at Loyola Marymount University, and across the country, are around mentors every day in class, yet they don’t actively seek it out.
Marsh knows his students may think that his attention is a part of the job. By actively trying to help students in college grow closer to God, Marsh continues to show up and listen, proving that his interest in students’ lives goes beyond a paycheck.
“I think there’s a lot of shame around coming to mentors, if you can’t do it by yourself, then, you probably shouldn’t be doing it,” Marsh says. He says students think they can do it all on their own.
While students pay big bucks for their education, they are also navigating adulthood, growing pains, and pivotal life moments throughout the four years they spend in college. Many students feel this same sentiment: if they can’t figure it out on their own, they probably shouldn’t be asking for help.
U.S. news reports that 70% of college students struggle with their own mental well-being, but only 37% go out and find support. Additionally, the report claims that many students choose not to look for help because of negative experiences and uncertainty about their resources.
While universities require faculty to hold office hours, which provides a potential opportunity for students to seek out mentorship, most students admit they don’t take advantage of it for that reason.
University of California, Riverside student Roy Uchino says that many times, he feels judged by his professors when he asks for help.
“I would say that is solely based on who the professor is and how open-minded they are to questions that may be simple for them but not for students. Some professors are very rude, which makes learning or even thinking of them as mentors to be harder,” Uchino says.
For Sophia Stanley, a psychology student at LMU, her recent office hour visit was for a quiz retake, but otherwise she only stops by for an occasional chat or question. Her experience at a big public high school made her reluctant to reach out for help.
“Being at a smaller private school after public school, my perspective has shifted to potential mentors due to the accessibility and how personable the professors are,” Stanley says.
In her experience here, when professors share their backgrounds, whether educational or personal, it creates an avenue for friendship or mentorship. It is often when they share less, or strictly only help students for educational purposes, that she is less inclined to reach out.
Laila Muhammad is a journalism professor at LMU, and for her, mentorship starts with attention to detail.
She says students show up with a variety of personalities and needs. She remembers one semester when a student was repeatedly absent from class, so she simply sent an email, asking if everything was alright.
“I can’t make the student receive the help I’m offering, but I do want them to know that I care. I notice,” Muhammad says. That email turned her relationship with that student around, and the student acknowledged that he didn’t even know his professor noticed him.
Conversations in Muhammad’s office are all across the board, and she describes helping students think through how to advocate for themselves.
“I’ll never tell you what to do, but I can guide you,” Muhammad says.
She recalls that many times the students who don’t put effort into creating connections with their professors will call them years later for recommendation letters. By then, she says it’s too late to get to know the student well enough to advocate on their behalf.
“I can’t really speak to the attributes that are necessary in this recommendation letter to make you stand out in a pool of very highly successful other applicants,” Muhammad added.
The more your mentor knows you, the more help they can offer to help you stand out in a sea of applicants, she says. And sometimes it leads to personal friendships. She says she’s attended her former students’ weddings, graduations, and baby showers.
Muhammad maintains similar connections in her own life. After more than 20 years in television news, she turns to mentors in her professional career and her personal life.
“I don’t just call my mentors when I need something,” Muhammad says. “I call my mentors to say, I’m just thinking about you. When they’re going through something significant. That relationship has to be cultivated constantly,” she adds.
Kristen Norris, a clinical communications professor and advisor for transfer students here at LMU, says that the impact she has on students often takes time, telling her students to build a “board of directors,” Norris says.
Norris says that in a world of social media, she finds that many students want to hop on a quick Zoom call or text, instead of a face-to-face conversation. But the most valuable mentorship she gives is when her students can see her in real time.
“Having the ability to maybe go on a walk with a student to talk instead of in a classroom, maybe asking them if they’ll meet you for a cup of coffee. Because I think in a different setting, sometimes it’s more comfortable to talk about things, right?” Norris says.
Norris sees tangible mentorship when she lets the student come to her, much like any professor, giving resources when needed without pushing too hard for a student to open up.
“ I always tell people, students, too, it’s like, nobody is gonna come knock on your door and give you these opportunities. You need to go out and seek them,” she adds.
Marsh’s holistic view of mentorship works well, helping students earn his trust. Many of his students come to him because they see he won’t judge them. He views mentorship as misunderstood, and he says many college students miss out on it during those pivotal years.
“I think if you graduate without the relationship of a mentor or a leader, then I think you’re missing out on having someone to fall back on and love you and support you,” Marsh adds.
Professors are often willing to help students with open arms and are willing to be an active participant in their success. In a world full of artificial intelligence and social media telling students that they can do it all on their own, we could possibly lose the art of intergenerational connection. While a student’s syllabus may include only a sentence or two about using office hours each semester, many students have the chance to build relationships that serve them far beyond college.
